Take Away Aserejé

excerpt from the short story 

It was Patsatsia. It was Patsatsia who sang destiny has a funny way to me, and then, many years later, after a really long time—today, in fact—Sara sang the same words to me and it was just like the Shaman warned me, what goes around comes around, yet still you want to close the door on things that don’t need doors or windows to be beside and inside you. But I look at you and uh-huh, I see that you are standing at the precipice—you’re gripping the hand of the child you once were, so tight that if not today then tomorrow you’ll be hurled into the abyss, and not only that, you will hurl yourself in, and not only that, you will hurl the child in there with you, uh-huh, breathe in, he said, breathe in and let it out, he said, release your body, release your brain, release your thoughts. Breath, he said, everything is breath—breath is all that you take in and all that you let out, so breathe in the past, breathe in, uh-huh, here is your ayahuasca and here are your keys and here is the door, but remember, if you’re lying to me and you only want to go through the door to lock up the child you once were behind it, know that you’ll never have a moment’s peace—it will all catch up with you, overtake you, then turn around and lie in wait for you, just like Pipicha’s and Fashionista’s sins were lying in wait for them. And he said that just like Pipicha and Fashionista were struck down in the prison uprising, the child you once were will strike you down the very first time he rebels, and I said how do you know about Pipicha and Fashionista… but after that I couldn’t say anything and I can’t say anything now because when you come to an arrangement with the shamans, you have to agree not to speak a word about what you see behind the door. Scientists are always eager to know what people experience behind the door and although science is good, this is magic and must not be explained. When magic is explained it becomes trickery, and trickery is just for fun, whereas what lies behind the door is magic, and magic is anything but fun…

translated by Philip Price